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radiala the same

by Simon Aulman

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1.

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This music has been hanging around in drafts for many months - slow looping simple cheap keys - I wasn't in love with this music when I made it, I don't love it any more now, but it's something I cannot do again, because it was made on a strange malfunctioning rubbish keyboard that I had to throw away when it completely stopped working - I miss its sounds, I should've used it more often and I should've used it better.

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This morning I was going to drive over and pick up a friend and drive us both to the Forest and have a walk and all that stuff that you have to do at the weekend with people who actually have jobs. But my car didn't start, so she had to drive on over and pick me up and instead we went to Royal Victoria Country Park over on the rubbishier side of Southampton.

What a nice day - this time it really was. It always is with her. We should get married. I've thought this often. Our big problem is that we always eat way too much together and it's horrible that I'm one of those over-disciplined people who puts trivial things like my weight above my happiness and I know that on my deathbed I will wish we had got married.

Out on the shore this morning we were really moving, we were really on today and everyone was swinging, it was little different from Calshot, it was so misty that you couldn't see the other side of Southampton Water, the shells on the shore towards Hamble are brilliantly big and if any of the pearly ones have holes in them then someone will pick them out and hang them from branches on the small trees that overhang the narrow beach.

Outside the chapel/museum it wasn't so cold and we ate the picnic that she'd made for both of us and also the picnic that I'd made for both of us, and afterwards we were still hungry so we went across the grass to the posh-ish cafe and had a pizza each.

She dropped me in the middle of town and I finally remembered why the park had been so quiet - everyone was here in the shops, I'd forgotten it's December already. I bought two packets of four Lion Bars. I prefer Topics, but when was the last time anyone ever saw a Topic ? I used to think that old people led boring lives just because they got lazy and were always unimaginative, but now I realise that it's really hard work to find anything to do, and yet it's so easy too - nothing went to plan, it still ended up feeling really thrilling even though my younger self would be disgusted that this is how it's ended up, but he needn't be, this is better than climbing Everest or writing The Novel.

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recorded yonks ago, photo Saints fans crossing the Itchen Bridge this afternoon

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released December 2, 2023

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Simon Aulman Southampton, UK

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