the original painting used for the cover of this album
Poster/Print + Digital Album
Well maybe someone wants this - it's A3 size, about 16" x 12" (42cm x 30cm), it fits very snugly into one of Asda's appropriate £6 frames, the postage might seem a bit steep but that's the way it is, can't do much about it, those cardboard tubes and all, and the painting itself might seem a bit pricey seeing as you probably have better paintings by your 6-year-old granddaughter stuck on your fridge but my dear you can't get paint this thickly daubed for nought - it's a variety of cheap paint from The Works, dropped onto paper which got stuck to a sheet of the FT, attached. It's just as much a mess as the music but I'm not HMV. Zapped out rolled up inside a bombproof loo-roll-y thing.
Includes unlimited streaming of mishima straptau alembic
via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
Hard to disagree that this is one of my outstanding ones, though "outstanding" is a loaded word and could mean anything, and this music could BE anything - it's certainly a mess, but it often sounds to me like a beautiful mess - it's just luck, or lack of it, it's made the same way almost everything is, the batteried keys are pressed at random, they're molested in Audacity at random, they come out random, this one sounds less random than most, the chimp hasn't typed all of Hamlet, but here are a few consecutive clusters that are real-life words in the dictionary, I wish they'd come out in capital letters, ie you need a bit of vol-welly.
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Incidentally, after promising that I'd be flooding the Post Office with milliooooooons of my DIY CDR albums, I'm embarrassed at how it's not actually happening right now - this is entirely because I have run out of cardboard for the parcels - and that's because it's been ages since I last went on a bender, so I have no wine-box cardboard. But I have started buying wine for Christmas - eleven boxes so far - and so there will be a slew of CDR albums in the early new year, if the booze doesn't kill me. It's too late for me to die at the rock'n'roll age of 27, so I am planning on committing seppuku using my battery keyboard when I am 72.
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I have of course been losing a lot of sleep wondering if I should mention that according to the Buy All Of Simon's Music On Bandcamp For Ten Million Quid offers I seem to be on the rim of releasing my 500th album here. If I was a cool musician then I would pretend not to notice such a landmark. But of course ...... And yes I have heard the rumours about what happens to any musician when s/he reaches her/his 500th album - Elon Musk (or whoever owns Bandcamp) sends round a driverless Tesla and it takes me to San Francisco (or wherever Bandcamp is based) and I deliver a huge lecture to all of Silicon Valley about how to make hundreds of albums and still be the least successful musician on the planet - the skill in going so long and still avoiding Mark Chapman's bullet ?
Oh but I do hope it is a personal private Tesla that takes me to America, and not the bus. Yes yes yes, I do love going by bus, right now I prefer bus to train, not only is it so much cheaper and actually running, but people even sometimes talk to each other on buses. But the last time I was on a bus (this morning) it was unlucky. I was sitting upstairs, but that didn't stop my ears being tortured by what I thought was my own music but which turned out to be the noisiest two-way phone conversation ever, occasionally punctuated by screaming Arabic-sounding music, rap, metal, and if I could remember any of the music I've ever made then possibly, indeed, some of my own beautiful music was blasted up the stairs at me and the whole of the rest of the bus.
I know this sort of thing is very common on trains and buses and in cafes and in cinemas and during open-heart surgery, but this morning things were several hundred decibels louder than ever before. I forgive everyone nowadays for their stupidity and rudeness - the young are out of their heads on illegal drugs, the middle-aged are all drunk, and the elderly are medicated prematurely into the next world on prescription meds. No one is in their natural state of consciousness and I've no idea why we send anyone to prison - everyone has an excuse.
I was tempted to go downstairs and sit next to this rude person and shout into my own phone and drown him out a bit. But I didn't have my phone on me. Why would I ? I don't like it. It's a nuisance. It makes me nervous. Someone might ring. Every phonecall is someone asking me for a favour.
So instead I just stewed upstairs on the bus, and came up with a plan. I am addicted to radios - large and small, digital and not. I shall in future carry around one of my millions of small battery-powered FM/AM trannies and oh shit I suppose I'm not allowed to use that word now but we're all about 90 years old here and we know what me mean and how we are probably the last genuinely nice people left on the planet, this planet where all that matters is that you pretend to be nice and know the right things to say and the right things to pretend to believe.
The next time I share a bus with a noisy phone fan I shall go and sit next to them and turn my radio up to a million and pretend it is a phone and shout at the shouting DJ - Ken Bruce maybe asking me Popmaster questions and me shouting answers so loud that I don't need a phone or even to be the right person on the show that day - the only way to fight anything is with the same thing, but more so, and this album, my 499th Bandcamp under my own name, is part of my battle against something that happened so long ago that I can't remember what it was but whatever it was it's still happening.
she says this is the last album she'll make like this before she goes off and makes stuff with Lana Del Rey - so just for this moment we have Kathy to ourselves - (yes I love Lana's music too) Simon Aulman
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